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there was blood everywhere.  she fell off a roof we were drinking on.  we were trying to get change for beer doing some STUPID shit and she laughed and she fell.  she fell on her head.  i thought she was dead and then she started moving and asking why we weren't at the show.  i told her it was cancelled.  i have no idea if she's okay.  i called the ambulance and left.
it's fucking cold, i'm going back to texas for a while.  
i managed to get my grubby hands on a digital camera (free, of course) and i've been busy.

i don't have much new stuff up right now, i havent gotten around to taking all the pictures, but there's loads to come.  

as you might have guessed, my shit is hanging in a filthy dive bar right now (i love that place), but the good news is, i've been selling things lately, i made 450 last month

i'm on my 4th job since i been in shreveport, and yeah, i got fired from all of em.  i went through a bout a month of being a medical guinea pig but i got blacklisted from a lot of companies' studies.  i over guinea pigged and they found out. so then i just wrote a lotta bad checks, now i'm a freakin subway sandwich girl.

a lot of my new shit is more personal than it's been in a while, but ummm... i got a new one that's taking a lot of time and it's really ambitious.  when i plug it in, a record player motor is gonna make a bunch of crazy parts move... i'm never gonna finish it.  more to come though!
right, so i dropped out of college now i live in my sister's floor in louisiana (it is goddamn hot here, even the inside of the banks are hot).  i have a sleeping bag and everything, it is sweet. and i found this bicycle in the neighbors yard, so i got me a sweet ride too.

her boyfriend is mr. technology so when i get the camera doin... i have aaaaallll sorts of shit to get up here.  

first i'm gonna go get hammered, my sister happens to live 6 blocks from a bar.
i'm gettin a freakin studio finally in a month! i'm communing like a hippie in a big house with a freaking... uber-shed... so new work comin soon.  i can finally work big again

i got bad news too... i got bumped from two shows... i was in line for em and guess WHO.

stephano. BAM! (see the picture about stephano for the reference if you have no idea)

he pulls in more money than me.

i was selling art out of a dry cleaners, that got screwed... i'm gonna work my magic again somehow.
how bout that phrase "looks like a 5 year old painted it"?

that one kills me
ain't gonna post nothin for a while. no computer. mom got rid of the internet because she's all broke and stuff. i might get one in the new apartment when i have a job or something. so far it's half assembled particle board furniture and a 300 pound typewriter. that's where i'm at so far.

yeah i oughta pay rent or something.
i figure i oughta shoot myself now. digital art is gettin to the point where you can make any goddamn thing you want look exactly like watercolor all in under 30 minutes!

www.deviantart.com/view/284736…

if you spend maybe a few days on something, blammo! a perfect replica of oil painting, painterly style and all that bullshit!

www.deviantart.com/view/292858…;

or lets try pastels!

[link removed because of the particular digital guy's request to do so, but believe me, it honest to god looked like real live pastel work]

i got a story for ya now. yeah so it's outta a book, it ain't word for word, but if ya figer out which one, i'll send you a starburst wrapper from a red starburst given to me by dougie, the guitarist for joan jett. he's a pretty good guy.

     This guy, Frank, goes to the drugstore for smokes or something, and the pharmacist tells him that his 16 year old daughter had become an architect and was gonna drop outta high school because it was a waste of time, right? She had designed this recreation center for teenagers in bad neighborhoods with this computer program called Palladio.

     So Frank goes to a computer store and asks to try this program out before he buys it. He figured that he probably couldn't do much with it because he had no background in this type of thing. So right in the store, in under half an hour, Palladio gave him exactly what he asked for... working drawings that he could give to a contractor and build a 3-story parking garage in the Thomas Jefferson style.

     He came up with the craziest thing he could, figuring that this program would tell him he couldn't do it. But no, it showed up menu after menu, asking all sorts of stuff, like how many cars, what city (because of building codes), whether trucks could be allowed in too... it asked about the buildings around the area he planned on putting it to see if Jeffersonian architecture would be in harmony with them... it even offered alternatives in the style of Michael Graves or I.M. Pei!

     Then it gave plans for wiring and plumbing, estimates of the cost to build the thing in any place he wanted to name.

so, he killed himself.

he also talks about a 10 year old boy creating symphonies in the style of mozart using a program called wolfgang.

This particular author uses his persona to express a very fundamental truth of the digital age.

"It used to be said of a man who had suffered a catastrophic setback in his line of work that he had been handed his head on a platter. We are being handed our heads with tweezers now" He was speaking, of course, of microchips.

so why the hell am i even bothering anymore?

i'm a fucking jerk, that's why, and being a fucking jerk is the only thing keeping me going.
buuuuuut i don't feel like it, i can't until i find a way to fix that godawful magenta hooker. i'm starting to think there's no fixin it.

i tried yelling and throwing stuff at it, didn't really help the picture too good but it made me feel a whole lot better. i'm thinkin i'm gonna go with the pipe cleaners and googly eyes look next. or maybe if she had a tail?

and now i don't have that ~unrecognisable guy to tell me how bad i suck when i really need a good "you suck". goddamn shifty ass canadian, if i ever see you again i'll cut ya!
what gives!!
(clarifying my first entry for yall in the parts i get too many questions about)

you guys are not understanding the intent of my criticism

a lot of you have GREAT technical talent, very very good TECHNICAL talent.

BUT when i say something is just "crap" or just "junk" or any of those little comments, i get my point across about what i think of it, don't i? when you show your art to someone in the business, they will bluntly say "that is awful", I KNOW! up until recently i didnt know what the hell art was!!! now i'm in exhibitions!!

***i'm not bragging, being in exhibitions isn't that big of a deal***

it is NOT MY BUSINESS to tell you how to do your work. thats something you guys figure out your selves. all i see is positive positive positive, i havent seen one single blessed negative comment yet!!! and i promise if i see something i like, i'll say "hey, thats pretty good"

but giving constant praise doesnt encourage anyone to try anything new at all, it causes them to be stuck in the exact same silly rut for the rest of their little lives if no one stands up and says "THAT IS JUNK"

now this is an ART site, and ART is not visual appeal, so far i havent seen ONE SINGLE THING that focused on something other than looking "cool" and "deep" and "creepy"

***and saying this, why the hell do all yall think that all i like is "dark art", i HATE the skulls and the batwings and the black roses with blood on em for some reason, it is so irritating and repetitive***

ART IS NOT AESTHETICS!!! ART IS NOT MEANT TO BE STUFFED WITH MEANING!!!

***god almighty, i gotta elaborate on that sentence up there real good. by "aesthetics" i mean based solely on aesthetics and nothing else and also that people tend to confuse aesthetics with art and art with aesthetics, but not that art is without aesthetic quality. by "stuffed with meaning" i mean that the meaning is beaten into it so much that it is impossible to misinterpret it because either the artist is using obvious symbolism because it is easy, or that the artist is making the meaning obvious because they are afraid of people misinterpreting the piece which takes away from it severely***

and if you rely on people's criticisms and suggestions to change your work... you are not an artist, or an individual
you guys are not understanding the intent of my criticism

a lot of you have GREAT technical talent, very very good TECHNICAL talent.

BUT when i say something is just "crap" or just "junk" or any of those little comments, i get my point across about what i think of it, don't i? when you show your art to someone in the business, they will bluntly say "that is awful", I KNOW! up until recently i didnt know what the hell art was!!! now i'm in exhibitions!!

NOW, i am an artist and whatnot, and the thing is.... it is NOT MY BUSINESS to tell you how to do your work. thats something you guys figure out your selves. all i see is positive positive positive, i havent seen one single blessed negative comment yet!!! and i promise if i see something i like, i'll say "hey, thats pretty good"

but giving constant praise doesnt encourage anyone to try anything new at all, it causes them to be stuck in the exact same silly rut for the rest of their little lives if no one stands up and says "THAT IS JUNK"

now this is an ART site, and ART is not visual appeal, so far i havent seen ONE SINGLE THING that focused on something other than looking "cool" and "deep" and "creepy"

ART IS NOT AESTHETICS!!! ART IS NOT MEANT TO BE STUFFED WITH MEANING!!!

and if you rely on people's criticisms and suggestions to change your work... you are not an artist, or an individual